Families can be tricky because it can be hard to find the right balance between respect and rules. The thought of merging households, especially with in-laws, brings up a lot of emotions for many people. In this case, a list was made to help them live together peacefully and keep the integrity of their home.
She told the story from her point of view.
First, the list:
1. She’s going to get rid of her dog.
2. Neither she nor her boyfriend should scold my kids in any way. If my kids do something wrong, they should come tell me or my husband.
3. There’ll be a list of people (their family and friends) who can’t come to the house.
4. People will always treat my husband, me, and my kids with respect, and they will never treat me like a child.
5. Before we move in, my husband and I will definitely be added as the main deed holders.
6. I will be pulling out if any of these demands are not met to the highest standard.
My mother-in-law is getting old. She’s only 66 years old, but her health isn’t great. Her health has gotten worse and she can’t work anymore. She has asked us to move in with her because she can’t get around like she used to. We are the only ones who can help her. Before her house is taken away, she has until the end of the month to pay off $12,000 in back taxes.
My MIL is a great person all by herself. I adore her greatly. It’s just that she really wants to please everyone, and that has put her in situations that I would never put myself in.
Mason is 66 years old and her boyfriend. A criminal. He just got out of jail after 6 years last year. His decision to get a 5-year-old Rottweiler-Mastiff mix and then not try to train the dog was a big mistake. It is now aggressive toward food, kennels, toys, and resources. He is mean and watches out for my MIL.
The dog would have to leave. In no way will I make an exception to this rule. Because my kids are small (one is crawling), that animal will not be able to hurt them. The dog stays, and we don’t move in at all.
Mason’s way of parenting is also very old-fashioned. He has tried to be a dad to my kids more than once in angry, out-of-date ways. That’s why I said that neither he nor my MIL would punish or reprimand any of my kids in any way.
We were going to pay the money to save their house, and I said my name would be on the deed before we moved in. That’s because I don’t trust Mason not to try to kick us out after we do. We won’t be moving in if we aren’t put as the main deed holders. She could lose her home.
When it comes to who can’t come to the house, Mason often hangs out with a family member that we don’t trust. Because the man is in a wheelchair, he seems to think that the man is no longer dangerous. Without a doubt not. He is not allowed in the house.
Also, they should treat us with respect at all times and not treat me like a child. Mason and my mother-in-law have tried to tell my husband and me what to do or make decisions for us, and I will not stand for it.
Yesterday, I gave them a list of demands and told them that if they didn’t follow them, this deal would not go through. According to Mason and MIL, the list makes them feel like they are guests or children in their own home. They think that I have decided to take charge of their lives and want to make changes. In other words, they want to keep the dog and have told us to find a way to keep it away from us (nope).
Mason also wants his family to be able to come here, but he has said he will keep them in their own room and away from my kids (nope). They also think that if it is “within reason,” they should be able to tell my kids they are wrong and punish them for it (nope). They could talk to the parent, and that was the end of it. (I said I wouldn’t give up.)
It looks like my SIL thinks I’m crazy. Do I have it wrong?
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