This week, a 33-year-old woman named Wendy wrote a letter to our editorial about her strange family history. Wendy admitted that she is very unhappy in her marriage right now because her husband has been acting crazy since they had their baby. Plus, the man she loved very much started making suggestions that Wendy thinks are completely wrong. The woman is almost divorced now, and she wants to know what our readers think about her case.
Wendy and David’s life was fine until recently.
Wendy, who is 33 years old, is very worried about the bad situation in her family that she is facing right now. The woman needs help badly, but she can’t tell anyone except her friends because she’s afraid of being judged or misunderstood. So, the woman wrote us a letter and told us her story so that our readers could feel her pain and give her advice.
“My husband David and I have been married for over 5 years now,” Wendy began her letter. These are the happiest years of my life because I married the love of my life, we put together enough money to buy our own apartment, and we just had a beautiful baby boy, who is 4 months old now.
We’ve always had a great relationship. I’ve always felt like I could trust and talk to David, and he never made me question what I believed. Before our adorable and long-awaited son was born, our family was the picture of happiness. But after he was born, everything changed so much.”
The storm came toward the family after the spouses had their first child.
Wendy told him, “David is a completely different person since our son was born.” No, I can’t say that he refused to help me with the baby. He’s always been a caring and loving dad. But the way he treats me has gone completely crazy.”
The woman said, “We started arguing so much that it happened every day, and we were often tired and red-eyed after arguing back and forth for hours.” I first noticed the latest scandal when I saw that David had spent more than $150 at the grocery store on things we couldn’t afford. I have to say that I yelled at him and told him he was careless and didn’t want to talk to me.
As always, he replied by calling me “hysterical” and saying I was overreacting. Now, every time we fought or argued, it started with a small thing. It wasn’t always about money; sometimes it was about how I felt David didn’t try to help my big family or was rude to one of my best friends.
Wendy came to a terrible conclusion from their arguments.
“As our fights got worse, we were worried enough to make an appointment with a marriage counselor,” Wendy says next in her story. But I found the sessions embarrassing. It did feel like a last resort and a step in the right direction.
I told David that I wanted him to grow up and be more responsible for his actions and the things that went wrong in the house. He said that he always knew he was “passively-aggressive or whatever,” and he just said he would try to change. This made me cringe. It looked like he was just repeating what I said and not really getting it.
Wendy also said, “After a while, I was telling a friend informally how bad things had gotten in my family.” A light bulb went off in my head as I talked about David and my “monthly row.” I realized that the fights did happen about once a month when I thought about it. At the exact same time.
That was when I finally realized the problem wasn’t a bunch of small problems that had built up and were too much to handle; it was all hormonal. I had terrible PMS, and when I told David what I was going through, I didn’t think he would be so mean and embarrassing.”
David suggested something that made Wendy feel bad about herself.
Wendy said, “My husband didn’t even try to help me out when he heard about my problem. He didn’t even listen much.” According to him, I was just being rude the whole time and that PMS was just a lie to make me act mean toward him.
He then went even further. He caught me off guard by telling me that he now absolutely demanded that I move out every month, a week before my period, and live with my parents during this week. He told us that this would save us both a lot of energy and might help us stop fighting.
“I thought it was a joke, and I couldn’t believe my husband wants to leave me for the time when I find myself to be “uncomfortable” and “inconvenient.” I’m in a terrible situation now, and his rude suggestion has made me cry so hard.
I can’t help but think about getting a divorce because my loving husband seems rude and stupid to me. And I’m not sure if he’ll stay by my side through any part of my life if he doesn’t want to go through the hormonal crisis with me. I have no idea where I am or what to do. Suppose your spouse told you to do that. What would you do?”
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