A woman recently reached out to me online, sharing her story without giving her name and going into detail about her complicated love life. She wants to meet new people and get advice on a tough decision: should she tell her husband the truth about the person she met while dating someone else, or should she keep it a secret? She is having a hard time making this choice because she is afraid of losing her partner.

He was on her mind for three years before she finally met him.

My husband and I have been together since I was in college, even though we got married almost two years ago. I met him for the first time at a party put on by a friend we both knew. I fell in love with him right away.
Following that, I was sure he would become my husband. I looked for him on Instagram and even found the social media accounts of his family. I felt like I knew we were meant to be together. I planned to meet his family first.

“When I found out that his little sister would be starting at my college the next year, my plan began to take shape.” I chose to make friends with her. We were pretty much always together by the time I was in my third year, and I spent a lot of time at their house.
I also became close with his parents; they loved talking about him, and that’s how I learned so much about the man I would marry. He and I spent more time together over time, and I always tried to impress him and make him smile. We also became good friends along the way.

The woman wasn’t happy with what she had done.

“Then I was given a chance that seemed too good to pass up.” When an internship opened up at the company where he worked, I applied right away. I felt even closer to him as our friendship grew. We laughed, told secrets, and made a lot of memories together.
But it wasn’t until I had to move to Boston for work that our friendship really grew. His luck changed, and he found a job nearby. Suddenly, we were both able to get around the busy city streets. In a new place, we became each other’s lifelines, relying on each other for support and company. It felt like fate was on my side.

“Then, out of nowhere, our friendship turned into something more.” Being with the man I had admired from afar for so long was like a dream come true.
He asked me to marry him a year later, which caught me off guard. I had dreamed about that moment a million times, but it was even better than I thought it would be. We got married almost two years ago in front of family and friends, and I couldn’t have been happier.

Because of the secret about their relationship, the woman carries a heavy load on her soul.

“But as our love story goes on, I can’t get rid of the heavy feeling in my mind.” He has no idea how hard I worked to become his friend years ago. Should I tell my husband the truth? He thinks that the way we met was meant to be, but I kept an eye on him and his family for three years.

“I feel bad keeping this a secret, especially since he tells other people about our love story and says it’s a miracle I met his sister by accident.” I don’t know if I should tell him the truth or not.
I’m not sure if I should tell you the truth yet because I’m afraid of how it might affect our relationship. I’m hoping that your readers can help me out.

Our Editorial team put together this list of tips for you.

The new study says that keeping secrets can be bad for your health. If this secret is making you feel heavy, you might want to think about telling someone. Being honest is the key to a healthy relationship, and hiding such a big part of your past from your husband could make things harder between you two.

Before telling him, think about why you’ve kept it a secret for so long and what you want to happen by telling him now. You could write the secret down in your own journal. Are you looking for forgiveness, understanding, or just to get this load off your shoulders? Write down what you might do when the secret is out. Writing in a journal can help you deal with your feelings and feel better. You can also get a more objective view of why you need to keep the secret by writing them down. This might help ease some of your pain.

If you are worried about how he might react, you could start by telling a trusted friend or counselor about your worries. They can help you and give you advice. They might be able to help you figure out what to do and how to best tell your husband the truth.

Talking to his younger sister could also help him understand things better and give him support. She might understand your point of view better than anyone else, and she could help you have a talk with your husband if you decide to tell him the truth.

Finally, keep in mind that talking to each other is important in any relationship. It might be hard to tell your husband the truth, but you need to in order to build trust and closeness in your marriage. Trust your gut and do what you need to do to deal with this problem in an open and caring way.

What do you think the reader should do?

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