Weddings are supposed to be happy events that celebrate love and bring families together. But imagine being torn between the life you’ve always known and what your fiancé’s family wants from you. That’s what one woman had to do.
Her mother raised her by herself and worked two jobs to make sure she had everything she needed.
Meet Laura, a 27-year-old woman who has to choose between love and family. She shares about her childhood, “My mom raised me by herself after my dad left.” We lived from one paycheck to the next. She worked late at night and was tired from having two jobs, but she always found time to cook for me and help me with my homework.
Even though things were hard, she never complained and always smiled while she worked hard to help us. She lives a simple life and is strong and hardworking.
On the other hand, her fiancé comes from a very different family.
Laura writes in her letter, “My fiancé, John, comes from a very different background.” His parents are well-known surgeons in our city, so it makes sense that they live a much more luxurious life than we did. Their way of life is very different from the simple, hardworking life my mom and I have always lived.
She thinks back on her relationship and says, “When John and I first met, his family welcomed me with open arms.” As things got worse, though, I began to notice small signs that people didn’t like where I came from. They never said it directly, but what they said about “elegance” and “sophistication” made it clear what they thought.
There was one catch for the groom’s family.
“Despite everything, I love John very much, and he loves me just as much,” Laura says. His family offered to pay for everything related to our wedding when we decided to go ahead with it. It was a huge relief, especially since my mom was having money problems. She says, “Their offer came with a heartbreaking catch: my mom wasn’t allowed to be at the wedding.” They thought she didn’t fit with their image and would make them look bad in front of their important guests.
“I was heartbroken,” Laura says. “I could not leave out the woman who gave up everything for me on my most important day.” I didn’t want to tell her the news, but I had to. To my surprise, she just said, “I get it, honey.” Do what will help you in the long run. It’s okay if this is what it takes to make your fiancé’s family happy. Even more, her calm acceptance broke me.
Laura had to make a tough choice.
Laura writes next in her letter, “As the wedding day got closer, I was torn between happiness for marrying John and sadness that my mom wouldn’t be there.” It was a wild ride of feelings.
It was hard for me to cancel the party just a few weeks before the wedding. I understood that if John’s family couldn’t accept my mom, who has always been an important part of my life and who I am, then they couldn’t really accept me either. I couldn’t stand to hurt my family.
“Of course, John and his family were very upset.” I’ve decided to put my relationship with John on hold while I think about what we should do next.
It was the beginning of the end.
Laura thinks about what happened afterward, “I hadn’t heard from John in a few weeks, but he finally got in touch and asked to meet up to talk about tomorrow.” I thought it was time to talk about that, so I agreed. Even though I didn’t think our relationship could get better, I was surprised by how far away and unattached John seemed. The man I used to love seemed to be gone, replaced by someone who cared what his family thought.
The last line of Laura’s letter says, “He brought up the idea of ending things for good, and I reluctantly agreed.” He looked like he felt bad about what he did, but it was too late. After that talk, it was hard for me, but I’m lucky to have my mom’s unwavering support, and I’ll always be thankful for her.
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