What if you’ve always wanted to fix something about your appearance and have been saving money for it, only to find out that you have to share it? In the same situation, our reader Heather found herself when she learned she might have to delay her long-awaited dream. Heather looked for help on the internet because she didn’t know what to do.

“Hey,

I’ve been putting money aside for years to get the nose job I want. I finally had enough money in my account, but my stepdaughter, who is thirteen, needs braces.

My husband told me, “You can either give some money or keep it for yourself.” You decide.

I’m really torn because the money I saved was for something personal that I had been looking forward to for a long time. For as long as I can remember, this has been linked to my self-esteem and how I feel about myself, not just how I look. At last, I reached my objective. The money in my account was meant to help me do that.

Now, things are getting worse. The ex-wife of my husband has started calling me selfish because she thinks that our stepdaughter needs braces for her health and well-being but I only want a nose job for looks. She keeps telling me that I should help because I’ve saved a lot of money, as if being responsible with my money makes me obligated to participate.

It’s really changing how the family works together. It seems like my husband and I are becoming less close, and I feel like this tension is growing between us. I know that my stepdaughter’s braces are important, but I can’t get rid of the feeling that no one cares about my own dreams or the years I spent saving for this surgery.

What should I do to handle this situation without making things worse? I’m really lost. How can I get through this without hurting my relationships in the long term?

Sincerely,
Heather”

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