Rebecca, who is 30 years old, recently talked about a family problem involving Anna, who is 20 years old and in college. One thing that made Rebecca angry was that she had let her sister Anna stay with them while she went to college. We agreed that she would give us $500 every month in exchange. I think this is a fair amount to pay for her food, utilities, and living costs. In addition, she helps us with our two kids and housework. To make sure there were no misunderstandings, we even wrote down our agreement.

Rebecca went on to say, “From what I know, shared housing at Anna’s school costs about $1,200 a month and is only available during the eight months of school.” It costs her $6,000 a year to stay with us instead of $9,600 for 8 months at school and 4 months with our mom and stepdad. For two years, this plan worked out well. She works hard in school and is a nice person.

People can tell that the sisters’ relationship has been getting worse.

Rebecca kept telling her story, saying, “Recently, Anna and I had a big fight, and I think she’s totally wrong.” We don’t like that our parents are on her side, but they are. This problem came up because Anna has a boyfriend now, and she wants to spend more time with him, which I can see. However, she’s been whining about having to watch the kids every other Saturday night so my husband and I can go on a date. This really made things bad between us.

Rebecca made it clearer by saying, “I told Anna she had to follow through with our agreement because we had one and she is still in college.” She agreed, but I made it clear that she would have to pay for the babysitter since she was supposed to watch the kids in the first place. Anna is mad at me now because she says that paying the babysitter is taking away all of her money.

Rebecca is getting bad feedback from her whole family right now.

Becky said, “Anna got very angry with me after I suggested it.” She thought I was getting something from her. That made her very angry, and she said she’d rather stay on campus next year. I told her in a calm voice that I thought it was a great idea and that it wouldn’t bother me. I also said that I would get back my hobby room when she moved out.

“I faced criticism from all sides of my family,” Rebecca said to show how upset she was. My parents called me and told me Anna shouldn’t be treated like a free nanny. They talked about how important it is for siblings to help each other without expecting anything in return. My mom even insisted that Anna live in our house for free because she said I shouldn’t mess with her money. Even after we told them what we agreed to, they were still adamant.

She went on, “When I told my mom that Anna was planning to move to campus next semester, she got very angry and threatened to cut all ties with me.” When I got home, Anna was packing but hadn’t said where she was going to stay. She said I was unfair because she had to pay more money and spend time away from her job and boyfriend, which she thought was unfair. I feel conflicted because I think our deal was fair.

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