A woman named Hailey wrote an open letter to our editorial. As we read her honest and moving story, we all felt a range of emotions. The woman said that her partner had been very controlling in what he thought about her and the baby, and he insisted that their son should only have his last name. Hailey gave the baby her own last name, which was the wrong thing to do. Since her partner is now totally angry, the woman is very upset by the way he acts.

Hailey and her partner got into a fight over the baby’s last name.

Hailey, 32, wanted to know what our readers thought and maybe give her some advice about what to do next in her life, which is very complicated.

“So, I had a baby five weeks ago with my partner, to whom I’m not even married,” Hailey began her letter. We’ve been together for 4 years, and I’ve given up a lot for this relationship from the beginning.
My partner and I were both so happy when I told them I was pregnant. We started making plans for the future right away, and the baby’s name was one of them. We had a few disagreements about names while talking about what to call our unborn son, but in the end we chose one that we both liked.

Hailey said, “The baby’s last name was a tough one for both of us.” In the end, my partner only wanted his name to be on the baby. I suggested putting a hyphen between the last names because I thought it would be easier for the baby to have both of our names.

The couple has made some kind of deal, but it wasn’t very clear.

Hailey continues her story by saying, “My partner kept saying that giving the baby his last name is “traditional” and “the right thing to do.” He even said that it was “his right as a man.” He also told me that if I don’t agree to give the baby his last name, I’ll be putting him down. Even more, he told me I might have to raise my kids by myself if I didn’t give in to his plea.

He told her that his word was final and that the baby would have one last name. It was getting late in my pregnancy, and I didn’t want to fight, so I just told him I understood what he meant.

Hailey chose for herself and doesn’t feel bad about it.

“I went into labor and gave birth to a beautiful boy,” the woman said. It was the first thing I did when I saw my son and held him in my arms that made me decide to give him my last name.
My partner learned this terrible truth a few weeks ago, when the baby’s birth certificate finally arrived. It made him go crazy. When he saw that I gave the baby my last name, he lost all control of his anger. He reminded me of our previous “agreement” and said, “I didn’t mind giving the baby his last name.”

“Well, I told him I didn’t agree with it.” In fact, I didn’t do anything like that. I just told him I got what he was saying, which I did. But I remember very well that I never said I agreed with him. It was not going to happen, I told him, because I was going to make the baby and put his name on it.

Things are getting very tense between the couple.

Hailey said, “When we talked about this tradition he brought up before, I told him it would be traditional for him to marry me before having a child.” He’s always been okay with ignoring that, though. I told him that being the provider would be so traditional, but I do it too. Even more, I showed him where his reasoning was wrong.
I told him that his threats to force me to give in didn’t work because I was tired from being pregnant. He should have known better, and he shouldn’t have thought I would not want my child to share a last name with him.

“He was so mad that he said the baby should only have one last name.” I told him, though, that the baby now has one last name. It doesn’t make sense for him to be so angry. But he didn’t agree, so he cried to his mother and brothers, and now they’re all against me. In this case, am I wrong?”

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