A 35-year-old woman can’t believe her husband wants her back after a painful split. His parents paid for the visit without him asking. Our protagonist faced a difficult choice: tell the unsuspecting parents about the person they raised. In her letter, the woman poured her heart out and asked our readers for advice on her difficult situation.
Anna persevered in a relationship that failed years ago.
Anna, 35, wrote us a letter and told a story that moved us and made us feel for her. The woman wanted our readers’ opinions and advice because she feels guilty despite not doing anything wrong or harming anyone except her husband’s parents, who were unaware of her family situation.
The woman began her letter, “My husband of 10 years, Nick, has had this female ‘friend’ that always made my life uneasy.” She never respected boundaries, and when Nick and I started dating, she said I was with him for his money. Nick made much more than me but never gave me money. We split bills and bought food together. I fed our 5-month-old baby and paid for my oldest child from a previous marriage.”
“This ‘friend’ has spread rumors and been disrespectful for 8 years. Nick said it was “petty ladies’ issues” when I asked him. He refused to set boundaries, so I had to correct her twice.”
Family problems were worsening.
Anna continues, “Recently, this ‘friend’s rumor campaign started all over again. Nick and I bought a house. This evil woman said I didn’t spend a dime on our new home. I confronted her immediately and yelled at her to stay out of our business. Nick was upset when the woman called to say I was rude.
“My husband came home stressed and anxious. When I asked if he was okay, he remained silent. After the kids went to bed, I pushed him to talk, and he told me he had a moment of weakness with this gossiping “friend,” who was pregnant, and he didn’t want to lose his family.
Anna stated, “I was dumbfounded, felt broken and betrayed, and began to cry. Nick kept saying he was sorry and didn’t want to lose his family. I locked my toddler’s room without saying anything.
The breakup hurt but was quick.
Anna said, “The next morning, I requested work time off. I took the kids to my father’s house. My dad was upset when I told him everything. I blocked Nick from blowing up my phone when he came home and didn’t find me.
My in-laws visited my father last afternoon. They begged me to return home and end this “totally unnecessary and stupid disagreement.” I was so stressed and shocked that I yelled that they raised a monster, and his mother went pale.”
“His parents were shocked because they thought our relationship was just going through a crisis. They always thought their son treated me well and I didn’t know what else to ask.
They asked me to explain. I paused and told them that their son was a liar, cheater, and a person who made my life unbearable, that he didn’t value his family, and that even a baby didn’t stop him. His mom looked upset, and his dad left without saying a word, but he called me later and said he would handle everything.”
Unhealthy family dynamics have emerged.
Anna said, “I know my MIL has heart issues and needs to be protected from bad news. I know my FIL will ruin my husband’s life after he discovers everything he did to me. After that, my husband has been calling me from different numbers, accusing me of everything, including telling his parents about his affair. He said that would kill them and his relationship with them.”
I feel guilty and think we could have divorced without telling his parents or explaining anything. However, I can’t bear this burden anymore, and I had to tell his parents why I wouldn’t contact him for anything. My emotions are conflicted. What would you?
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