Marta, a grandmother, was going on vacation with her only son and his family when she got caught up in a family trouble. She made a hasty choice when she realized she had to stand up for her needs and show her independence in family relationships. She went online to get help because she wasn’t sure if she had overreacted.

“Hey,

I am 68 years old and have one son named Richard. His three kids, who are my grandchildren, are the best things in the world to me. Richard planned a trip with his wife, kids, and himself two weeks ago, and he wanted me to go with them. At first, I hesitated because I was worried about being responsible with money. I didn’t have enough money for a trip because I had to pay for medical bills. Then, out of the blue, my son told me he wanted to take me on the trip and pay for everything. I loved how kind he was to invite me. I eagerly packed my bags because I was excited to spend quality time with my family and friends.

We were all hungry on the first day of vacation, after a long and tiring day of going to museums with the grandchildren. We made reservations at a nice restaurant for dinner. As I was getting ready to leave, my son walked into my room out of the blue with a box of takeout food and asked, “Why are you all dressed up?” He looked confused. Did you really think that this trip would be free, Mom? In the evenings, you’ll have to watch the kids. There are shows and concerts that my wife and I have planned for every night.

When I heard this, I stopped moving. I was hurt and betrayed a lot. I chose to leave the vacation early because it was better for my mental health than what my family wanted. That night, Richard left me to take care of his three kids, so I called the travel agency and changed my return flight. I left the hotel the next morning and flew back home without telling anyone.

Now, my son and daughter-in-law text and call me all the time, which makes me feel bad about what I did. In their messages, I only hear blame and no sense of guilt. It’s still important to me to have self-respect and set personal boundaries, but I’m now dealing with guilt and doubt, wondering if I overreacted or acted too quickly. In a week, they’ll be back from their trip. What should I do about this when I see my son and his wife? We value your opinion and advice a great deal.

Sincerely,
Marta”

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