Our editorial received a touching letter from Sarah. Sarah feels guilty about mistreating her stepmom, who raised her like her own daughter. However, Sarah feels she had no choice because her biological mother attended her most important event. The woman told us her complicated family story, leaving it to our readers to judge her or offer advice.
Her stepmother has always been her most important person.
Our editorial received an emotional letter from 26-year-old Sarah. Many people were moved by the woman’s story. Sarah said many family, friends, and even distant relatives are now harshly judging her for her deed. However, the woman believes her actions are true and explained her position in her story.
Sarah opened her letter, “Hi! I need your readers’ opinions on my family case, which is very controversial. My stepmother Irene is 56. I’ve always considered her my mother. Since I was 4, she’s raised me without telling me we’re not related by blood, even though I knew she wasn’t my biological mother.
Irene has always been my best mother. She is generous and loving and has always supported me. She worked hard to support me throughout my life and earned money with one goal—my happy childhood and financially secure future.”
Sarah stated, “My dad and my bio mom split when I was 3, and I hadn’t heard from my mother, Alyson, since. When I was old enough to ask questions about my biological mother, my dad would always avoid talking about her and call her a “unworthy person.” I could tell by his expression that their breakup was hurtful and dad was still raging.
Sarah’s biological mother unexpectedly arrived and ruined the family’s life.
Sarah continues, “When I say that my stepmother was the only person to raise and support me financially, I literally mean it, because my father died in a bad accident when I was 6 years old. Since then, Irene has been our sole provider.
Mom wasn’t involved and didn’t attend dad’s funeral. I knew she existed, but I didn’t know where she was or what she was doing, and I never tried to find out more. It always occurred to me that if dad was so hurt by their divorce, I might feel the same if I find my mother and learn their story.
In the meantime, Sarah said, “My life continued. Irene funded my education and I graduated with honors from a top university. She bought me a small but nice apartment in the center of our city with her savings and her parents’ inheritance.
Next, I met Josh, my future husband. Irene was thrilled when we got engaged. This strong and loving woman always treated me and my new family well.”
She says, “At 25, I fell pregnant, which was a significant event not only for my long-awaited parenthood, but also for Irene, who was on cloud nine about becoming a grandmother. My biological mother, Alyson, appeared at this exact moment. She called from an unfamiliar number one day. She introduced herself, said she expected my rage and rejection, but begged me to meet her and talk to her, so I did.
Sarah’s first meeting with Alyson broke them both.
Sarah wrote, “My biological mom and I met in a small cafe near our house. I immediately recognized her when I entered because we look alike. Irene was uncomfortable about this meeting, but she didn’t object and supported me in meeting Alyson and listening to her.
“Alyson told me about her and dad’s breakup. Her cheating on him was common, and he always forgave her. After she got pregnant with me, my dad became suspicious and resentful, insisting the baby wasn’t his and refusing to believe I was his. After a fight over his behavior, Alyson left and divorced him.
Dad later insisted on a paternity test, which was positive, and he adopted me. His insistence that I live with him from then on didn’t bother Alyson because she wasn’t ready to devote her life to me yet. Dad took her promise that she would never return and wouldn’t contact me throughout my life, which Alyson did.
Sarah took a risk she now regrets, but she has an explanation.
Sarah wrote, “I started communicating with Alyson after that. She was thrilled to learn I was pregnant and asked to join me in the delivery room. She wanted to see her grandson’s birth, and I couldn’t refuse.
However, my stepmom, Irene, did not express her desire to attend. I never asked Irene if she wanted to be present during childbirth because my pregnancy was difficult and complicated, and I could only think of myself.
Irene was with me during labor. I felt wrong when she said she would go to the hospital with me and my husband. After saying yes to Alyson, I realized it would be inappropriate to have them both in the delivery room.
I told Irene that this was a sacred moment and that these two women would be so mean to each other. Her pain made her pale. She didn’t criticize me; she just said she understood everything and that my maternal instinct must have led me to have my bio mom with me at this special moment. I ignored her many encouraging words.”
Sarah wrote, “Alyson witnessed the childbirth and was thrilled to be there. However, as I write this, I feel bitter about everything and Irene. My stepmother loves her grandson, but she hasn’t visited me since.
She loves seeing the baby when we visit, but not me. This cold, reserved woman has me stumped. Is my behavior wrong? How can I reconcile with Irene now? I’m lost.”
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