As a parent who stays at home, you have one of the hardest jobs, but it’s often not appreciated or recognized. Still, having a parent stay home isn’t always the best choice for a couple. When the woman told the man that she wanted to quit her job to care for their future child, they got into a fight. He thinks there are good reasons for him to say no to what his partner wants.
A man wrote about his problem on Reddit.
The 23-year-old woman I date, Emily, and I have been together for four years and moved in together last October.
After graduating from college last year, she was able to find a job that paid well for a first job. Even though she didn’t really enjoy the job, she said it would help her get promoted and look good on her resume. She was hoping to soon find more interesting work that she is passionate about.
In January, my girlfriend accidentally got pregnant with a girl. We had no plans for it, and we thought about having an abortion, but we chose to keep the baby. Since then, we’ve been getting ready for the birth. Both of our parents get along well with each other, and they both said they would be happy to watch our daughter for free.
My girlfriend told me not long ago that she wants to quit her job to stay at home with the baby and raise it. This is what she did because:
1. She’s getting attached to our unborn child and can’t stand the thought of leaving her with a babysitter, even if it’s one of our parents who we know will be good with the child.
2. Her mom was a stay-at-home mom, which meant she could eat home-cooked meals every day and do lots of fun things she couldn’t do with a babysitter. She wants our daughter to have the same experience.
3. She doesn’t like her job anymore and isn’t sure if she wants to keep going in the same direction. That she wishes she had majored in something she was really interested in instead of something that would make her a lot of money.
4. I just got promoted to supervisory position at work, which came with a pay raise of almost $40,000, so I can take care of her and our daughter.
5. She didn’t say it, but I’m sure that the fact that one of her friends just had a baby and is now a SAHM affected her choice.
Because of these things, I said no:
1. Our plan was to buy a house in the next couple of years, but since I’m the only one who works, it will take us longer to get one.
2. I was poor as a child. As a child, I only went to the movies a few times because my parents couldn’t afford to do fun things with me that often. Every year, I bought new shoes, and I got my clothes at Walmart.
We’ve been able to live a very nice life thanks to both of our incomes. We both have brand-new cars and regularly shop, eat out, and watch movies. We’ve also taken some nice trips and vacations. We would have to spend a lot less if we only had one income. My girlfriend brought this up, but I don’t want to.
Since we both have jobs, we can keep living the way we do now even after the baby is born. I still have a lot of things I want to do and places I want to visit. All of our plans for the future would have to be put on hold for a few years because my income would not be enough. We would have to wait until I made even more money or until we had saved a lot of money.
3. I don’t want to feel like I have to take care of my family by myself.
4. A lot of people don’t like their jobs. From what she told me, she doesn’t like her boss and finds the work dull. When I was a baby, my mom had to do a job that was hard on her body. So she and a lot of other women have it hard, but my girlfriend does okay. You have to deal with a job you don’t like sometimes.
Along with telling her no, I might have told her that the strong bond she felt with the baby was just pregnancy hormones that would soon go away. Okay, that wasn’t the best word choice I could have made. This is something I told my family and friends.
Some people have told me that a real man takes care of his family. And that it’s bad of me to want to take a mother away from her baby when I could pay for her to stay home. So am I wrong?
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