The main character in today’s article went through one of the worst things that could have happened to her family. Her husband was told he had a disease that could kill him. Everything in her life changed in an instant when she learned this. But her shock was even greater when she learned that her beloved husband had lied to her about his terrible diagnosis. The woman now knows why he did what he did, and she can’t keep quiet about her terrible family problem. It was important for her to talk about it, so she wrote us an emotional letter and asked for our help.
Samantha wrote an emotional letter to us about her family.
Samantha, 37, is one of our most loyal readers, but the woman admitted that she never thought she would have to tell our readers her terrible story. The woman said that she had never thought that her husband had two faces—one that she fell in love with and the other that was gross and ugly.
Samantha said “Hi!” when she opened her letter. I need help from other people more than anything else in my life right now. I’m afraid to tell my family my story because I don’t want to be judged, and I think they won’t believe me because of how cruel and stupid my husband was recently.
“My husband Lars and I have been married for over 12 years,” the woman said. Lars has always been the best husband and father because he is fair, works hard, and loves his family the most. Everybody in our family knew their part and could hold each other accountable for doing theirs. Our family life was very well organized.
Lars is the only one in the family who makes money. Since we’re saving up to buy our own house soon, he works full-time and often stays late at work.This is kind of the norm in our family. The fact that he had to work longer hours to support the family and help us save more is clear.
Things changed a lot for the family one day.
She said, “As you may know, I’m a full-time stay-at-home mom and I’m busy with our three kids.” Lars adores the children and longs to spend time with them whenever he has the chance. What I really mean by “spend time with kids” is this. He doesn’t want to feed them, take care of them, or deal with their health and problems. It’s always been his opinion that it’s only my job, and all he does is talk to the kids and hang out with them sometimes.
There was a time when Lars didn’t want to help me with the kids or the chores on the weekends. I didn’t mind this way of dealing with kids, but it made me mad. He always said that he makes money and that the rest of his duties are mine. It started to feel unfair, but I never brought it up seriously because I didn’t want to bother him. I knew how tired he was from work, and I chose to ignore how tired I was for Lars’s sake.
Samantha said, “Lars started complaining that he felt bad all of a sudden five months ago.” I was very worried because this went on for a month. “I made him go through a full medical checkup, which I knew he would not easily agree to because he hated doctors.”
The woman quickly saw a red flag in the way her husband was acting.
Samantha said, “The first red flag was when my husband became very happy about my idea that he should see a doctor.” He seemed really happy about the checkup, and he agreed so easily this time that it surprised me a bit.
He later went to the hospital for this checkup, and when he got home with all of his medical records, he told me we needed to have a serious talk. When I asked him what happened because I was worried, he said he wouldn’t talk about it with our kids around. Therefore, when we were finally alone, he told me with a sad face that he had been diagnosed with cancer and showed me the paper that said so. I didn’t read all of the medical papers because I was busy. I took his word. I felt shocked, ashamed, and sad. Only thing I could think about was how to save him. I didn’t know where to run or where to get help.
“Since then, Lars has changed his whole way of life,” the woman wrote. He took a long break from work and stayed in a separate room at home. He only left the room to go to the bathroom and eat something. He started going outside later, but he wouldn’t let me or the kids go with him because he was thinking about his life. Like always, I took care of the kids by myself. My husband needed all of my attention now, so I gladly did everything for him and didn’t ask any questions.
The truth was dropped out of the blue, and it was a bombshell.
Samantha wrote, “Lars was on the phone with someone one day.” I heard the part of his conversation as I walked by his room. In a conversation with his mother, he told her not to worry about him because he was getting enough rest. However, he also said that the rest he was getting means he has to lie to me. That made him feel bad, and he told me he had to tell me something.
When I heard it, I went into his room and told him what he had been saying. He turned pale and then told me that his diagnosis was not real. Like, fake. He did not have cancer. He was in good health. He lied to me about it, though, because he was tired of his duties and didn’t feel my love and care. He said I saw him as nothing more than an ATM. It was too much for him to be married and have kids. He told them he was sick of being a husband and a dad and wanted to be free from everything.
The most shocking thing about him was that he was afraid. It was hard for him to tell me everything right away. He didn’t care about how tired I was or what I needed. He only thought about himself. He also lied to me to make me feel guilty and responsible. I was even more tired than usual because I had to take care of our three kids and him, who was healthy but acting like he was dying.
Samantha wrote, “Now Lars wants us to stay together instead of getting a divorce. He begged me to start family therapy.” I’m not sure if I still want to get married, though. What are you going to do?”
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