Our reader was crushed when her husband told her on their fifth wedding anniversary that he was tired of being married and wanted to try an open relationship. The fact that he wanted to date other people to find lost love was a big blow. She said yes instead of making a scene because she hoped he would see how valuable what they had was. Here’s how this sudden choice helped the couple learn surprising things about themselves.

They were very close, and everything seemed great until her husband told her something shocking.

“Jake and I have been married for five years and together for ten.” There was always a lot of passion and adventure in our relationship. We are both constantly moving and excited, and we loved sharing that with each other.

You may already know this, but life changes things. Since we had our kids three years ago, the way we interact with each other has changed. I spent all of my time and energy on parenting and housework, leaving me with little time or energy for the fun and adventures that used to define us.

“While I accepted the changes and saw them as a step forward for us. To my surprise, Jake had a different opinion.

Instead of making a scene, our reader chose to show her husband something.
Jake told me, “I’ve been thinking… Our marriage had become too boring.” It was our fifth wedding anniversary, and we were having dinner at a nice restaurant. To make our marriage more exciting again, we might want to try something new.

“I raised an eyebrow, interested and a little worried. “What do you mean?”

“After some thought, he took a deep breath. “I believe we should try dating in a public way.” For a short time. It’s possible that we could go on dates with other people and maybe feel some of the love we had back. “I don’t want us to meet new people.”

“What he said hit me like a cold wave.” My heart sank, and sadness and anger mixed together. I did not expect to hear that on a night that was meant to be a celebration of us.

“Perhaps he wouldn’t be so bored if he helped out with the kids and the house more.” I don’t think so! It broke my heart, but I chose not to make a scene. I only agreed to his idea because I wanted to teach him a lesson he would never forget.

In order to make sense of this new situation, the couple set rules and limits.

“I forced myself to be calm by taking a deep breath. “Okay, let’s do it. Things that bother me have been on my mind for a long time. We should give it a try for a few months and see how it works.

“When I agreed, he blinked, surprised. But he quickly nodded, and relief spread across his face. Dear Emma, thank you. I promise this will help us.

“I promised myself that if he wanted to play this game, I’d play it better.” We were not going to give up what we had without a fight.

That’s the least I can say about the first few weeks. We set limits and rules to try to make sense of this new situation. Jake was so excited about the idea that he set up dates with a zeal that hurt more than I wanted to admit. On the other hand, I went into it with a different attitude. I didn’t want passion or excitement; I just wanted to make a point.

“My first date was with Mark, who I work with.” He was friendly and interested, and the evening was nice, but I was alert. I wasn’t interested in Mark; I was interested in how Jake would react to my date.

Her husband was free, but instead of enjoying it, he got angry.

“As the weeks went by, I kept going on dates and having fun, but I never let it get serious.” Jake began to change in front of my eyes. The idea that excited him at first started to lose its appeal as he became distracted and often busy. He looked like he cared less about his dates and more about what I was doing. He looked at me with a sad face one night as I was getting ready to go out.

“Emma, are you enjoying this?” he asked with a vulnerable tone in his voice.”

“I stopped and looked into the mirror at his eyes. “Are you?”

“He let out a sigh and ran his hand through his hair. “No, not really.” It doesn’t feel right, but I thought it would make things better.

After three months, he begged her with tears in his eyes to take it all back because she had taught him something.

“I nodded, and we both realized what was going on. “Jake, we didn’t need other people to have fun.” It was important to remember why we fell in love in the first place.

“He felt it deeply when he realized it.” We were more honest than we had been in years when we talked for hours that night. We talked about the things that had made us separate, our fears, and our wants. We slowly put back together what had been broken.

“Three months after our failed experiment began, Jake came to me with tears in his eyes.” “Emma, I was so wrong.” But the truth is that I don’t want anyone else. I thought I could find what we lost by looking somewhere else. I need you. You alone. Could we please take it all back?”

The possible end of their relationship turned out to be the start of a new one.

“He had tears in his eyes, and I saw the man I loved—the one who would do anything to make things right”

“I smiled and hugged him. “Jake, I loved you all the time. It’s possible to fix everything and make things even better than they were before.

“In the end, our open relationship experiment wasn’t about finding love somewhere else.” The point was to remember what we had together. We found that the thing that really excited us wasn’t new experiences, but how close we were to each other. There was already a spark there; we just had to light it again.

“When we said our vows again, we promised to talk to each other more, enjoy the little things, and never take what we had for granted again.” Our love had been strong through the storm, and it was even stronger now.

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