People we think we know well don’t always turn out to be strangers. Sarah found out a hurtful truth about her husband after 15 years of marriage, which changed how she saw their relationship. Her story is a stark reminder that painful secrets can be kept even by people who are very close to you.
Her husband has known for a long time that he is gay.
My husband told me that he had gone through a lot of hard times and finally accepted that he is gay. He told me that he loves me and wants to keep living with me, but that we can’t be close anymore. He said: “I still love you and want to be with you, just in a different way” .
Sarah’s husband of 15 years told her two weeks ago that he’s gay. She was hit with the truth like a ton of bricks. She always thought they were happy because they had three great kids together and built a life together. The truth of his words shocked her and made her feel like the ground had been pulled out from under her.
Sarah didn’t know what to do at first. Her mind was full of feeling like she had been betrayed, confused, and sad. Her husband told her that he had tried to accept that he is gay for many years but had finally given up. He told her that he can’t keep living a lie. He wants to keep living with her even though everything is going wrong, but they can’t be close anymore. He tells her that he loves her still, but not the same way.
Sarah doesn’t want to lose him but also feels lost.
Sarah didn’t know what to do at first. Her mind was full of feeling like she had been betrayed, confused, and sad. His eyes showed pain, and Sarah could tell he meant it when he told her he loves her. There were many times when they were together and memories they made. He was her best friend through it all. He had been a great husband and a great mother.
It breaks her heart to know that they are no longer together physically and that she doesn’t know that there is a part of him she never knew. Even though he was still there, she felt like she had lost something very important.
They began going to see a therapist.
They haven’t told their kids yet because they are still young. Sarah is worried about how this will change their lives and how they will explain something so complicated. They both want to give them a stable, loving home, but they don’t know what the future holds for them. What does this mean for their family life? It scares her. She doesn’t want this to break them because they’ve always been strong together.
Sarah is figuring out how to deal with this new truth. They’ve started seeing a therapist to help them deal with their feelings and figure out what to do next. It’s not simple, and some days are worse than others. They are still in love, and a part of her wants to hold on to what they have. But another part of her is lost and confused. They’ve talked about raising their kids together and staying together, but she’s worried about what that will mean in the long run.
Sarah still thinks things will go back to how they were.
Even though things are hard, Sarah is reminded of the bond they have at times. Like when he makes her coffee just the way she likes it or when their kids do something funny and makes them both laugh. For her, these times give her hope that they can get through this new situation without losing what makes their relationship unique. But she also knows it won’t be easy. They’ll have to change what it means to be a couple and a family.
Sarah is telling you this because she needs help and maybe some advice from people who have been through the same thing. How do you deal with seeing such a big change in your partner? What can you do to keep your family together while you’re going through pain and confusion?
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