Since Erin’s stepfather couldn’t take care of her alone after her mother died, he had to send her to live with her grandmother. Erin was angry and upset about this choice for years. Erin doesn’t know what to do now that her stepfather is back in her life and needs her help. She asked us for help because she was confused and lost and didn’t know how to handle this emotional situation.
This is the letter Erin sent us:
“I was 14 years old when my mom died.” My stepdad had raised me as his own child since I was three years old. He broke down in tears and told me that he couldn’t take care of a teenage girl by himself, so he gave me up.
Since then, I have not talked to him at all. My paternal grandmother raised me; she was the only living blood relative I had left. She was strict and stern, and she didn’t show me much love.
After seventeen years, my stepfather came to my door. He is sick and lonely, and he begs me to give him money to pay for his medical bills. I wouldn’t forgive him because I still remember how he didn’t want to raise me.
I told her, “Your mom made me promise her I would make sure you have the best life after she dies.” He cried deeply. I knew I could not help you with that. Because she had more money than I did, I decided that your grandmother should raise you.
It’s not clear to me if I should forgive him. My grandmother had more money than I did, but she didn’t love me. I still think I would have been happier living with him in the house where I have memories of my mother.
What should I do?
Thanks, Erin”
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