When we marry someone, we often think we know everything there is to know about them. But sometimes an unexpected discovery that seems harmless at first can completely destroy the trust we’ve built. Someone found their husband’s diary and read some very disturbing entries. “Should I leave my husband right away?” she asks herself as a worried wife and mother.

There were some red flags before Angela and her husband got married.

Angela, a 33-year-old woman, recently wrote us a letter in which she told us a story that made us feel a lot of different things. She asked us to print her letter so that she could get advice from our readers and find out what they thought about the terrible situation she’s in.

Angela started her letter by saying, “I’ve been married to Andrew for five years now.” We went on three years of dates before getting married, so we’ve known each other for ten years. I wish I hadn’t missed the warning sign at the beginning of our marriage because it led to a very happy ending.

She continued, “When Andrew asked me to marry him, I thought he would give me a beautiful engagement ring because he made a good living and was always giving gifts.” I knew that on that special day, he would give me something special because he used to spoil me with expensive gifts. But Andrew showed up with a very cheap ring. Seeing that I looked a little let down, he said, “All material things are just things.” Since you can’t take things to the grave with you, you should be thankful for how I feel about you instead of what I give you.

Angela went on, “I’ve never been interested in things, so I didn’t think about the cheap ring too much.” I just didn’t feel safe because of how quickly his behavior changed. He went from being honest and kind to suddenly adopting a thrifty way of thinking that I don’t remember him having before we got engaged. I didn’t pay attention to what he said about taking things to the grave, though. I was thrilled with what I had at that time.

Their marriage looked like it was going well until one day, things changed quickly.

Angela continues her story by saying, “Andrew has kept a somewhat regular diary during our five-year marriage.” He never tried to hide it, and I have always respected his right to privacy. But one day, after a heated argument, I felt like I should read it. I went to work after he did.

This made Angela very scared as she read through her husband’s journal. “I feel so sick and ashamed that I should never have touched his diary in the first place after reading it.” Several times, my dear, beloved husband wrote that he hates me. One time, he even said that he hoped I would die when I was sick.

“We recently went through a rough patch that lasted about two weeks,” Angela said. We were both having a hard time, but I think we got through it together. There were times when I was scared of him, but we only talked honestly about hard feelings.

That rough time happened at the same time that Andrew showed his hatred. What was written in the rest of the journal was pretty normal and showed the man I know and love. It had his goals, thoughts on work and family, and even record of his habits.

Angela hasn’t been able to sleep since she found out what her husband really thinks of her.

Angela said, “I didn’t think twice when I read those words.” Our daughter and I packed up our things and went to stay with a friend. As proof, I took pictures of every page of the diary. It was after our fight, and I told him I needed some space to calm down. I promised to be back soon. I’ve already set up a meeting with my therapist and talked to a lawyer.

“Since I left, my husband has sent me a few nice messages,” she said. I told him I was taking some time for myself and that he was looking forward to seeing me when I got back. He also told me it was okay to have little setbacks. “He told me he loves me, which makes me question my first choice.”

Angela doesn’t know what to do now, though. “As soon as I read that he hated me, I knew our relationship was over.” Something was very wrong in our marriage, even the fact that I felt the need to pry into his private life. “But all of his nice messages and the other things he writes in his diary are making me doubt myself,” she wrote.

Things started to get better after a while.

They texted back and forth for a few days before Angela’s husband called and asked if they could meet up and talk. She wasn’t sure at first, but in the end she agreed, hoping to get more information. They picked a calm café where they could talk about everything without fear of being judged.

“He looked really worried when we met,” Angela said. “He told me he missed me and our daughter and had been thinking a lot about what had happened.” He said he felt bad about writing those things and hope I didn’t find them.

They talked for hours, getting into problems that had been building up for a long time. Angela said, “We both knew we weren’t talking to each other as well as we should have.” It was agreed that we needed to put a lot of work into our relationship before we could move on.

They finally chose to try again with their marriage, but this time they had a plan. She wrote, “We agreed to go to family therapy together.” “We both know that we need help from a professional to fix what’s wrong and build trust again.” I’m still scared because it’s going to be a long road. We’re going to try to make it work for our family’s sake.

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