Having a relationship with your mother-in-law can be tricky. It’s tough to set limits and disagree with someone without making a scene. You and your in-laws can still fight, even if you don’t live together. Emily had the same thing happen to her when she turned to the internet for help.
“Hey,
Your advice would be very helpful because I’m in a tough spot with my mother-in-law. My MIL licks her fingers while she cooks, takes a spoonful of everything to taste, and then puts it back in the dish. I told her I’m a strict vegan because it makes me sick.
After a family dinner one time, I dropped my purse and some food from the burger I had eaten on the way over fell out. “You really call this being vegan?” my MIL asked with a red face.
I tried to make a joke about how it was just a “cheat day,” but she didn’t seem to find it funny. When she got to the kitchen, I could hear her slamming dishes together because she was mad. I didn’t know what to do next and felt awkward, so I offered to help clean up in the hopes that it would make things less tense.
But she waved me off and said, “No need.” “Enough of what you did.” Since then, she has been cold and distant, and she tries to stay away from me whenever she can. I’ve noticed that I’m suddenly “unavailable” for family dinners and events in the future. My husband told me that she’s been sending out the invitations herself, and it seems like there’s always a good reason why I’m not invited.
I’m not sure how to handle this situation right now. There are times when I want to tell the truth and explain why I lied in the first place. I thought that saying I was vegan would make it easier for me to stay away from foods that make me sick. But I’m also afraid that telling her the real reason will make things worse between us. She’s very proud of her cooking, and I know that bringing up her bad habits would only make things worse.
I don’t want to make things worse or more upsetting, but I also don’t want this problem to keep us apart forever. Help me figure out what to do to make things right without directly asking her about the way she cooks.
Sincerely, Emily”
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