Even small acts of kindness can go unnoticed at times, making you question everything. In this story, the reader goes out of her way to make her husband’s favorite pie for his birthday, but he makes fun of her in public. What should have been a cute moment turned out to be awful.

Someone wrote to the internet: “My husband loves apple pies and always compliments my cooking. For his birthday, I baked one for him and wrote, ‘To my sweet hubby.’ When he saw it, he frowned and gave me a strange look. His friends chuckled and exchanged glances. Then, right in front of everyone, he smirked and said, ‘First, I hate apple pies, and second, I’m not your hubby.’ I asked, ‘Who are you then?’ He said he didn’t like the word ‘hubby’ and that I should have just written ‘Happy Birthday.’ He took a spoon and scraped off the word ‘hubby.’ He didn’t even thank me for the pie. I went to our room and stayed there while the others kept celebrating. I felt awful.
Does he really love me?”

Thanks for telling your story. We’re sorry this is happening to you and would like to give you some advice that might help.

Ask them to say sorry.

He did something wrong when he put you down in public, especially since all you did was try to be nice to him. Tell him straight out that you want an honest apology, not just for not liking the pie but also for how he dealt with it. You should at least be told sorry for what you did.

Try to find the trends.

Does he put you down or play down your feelings a lot? Does he often ignore your efforts, whether they’re cooking or doing something else? If this doesn’t happen just once, it could mean there’s a bigger problem in the connection. Please write down these actions and think about whether you want to keep working with them.

Figure out what you want to do next.
It’s a good sign if he wants to change. If he doesn’t recognize how you feel or say sorry, though, that’s a huge red flag. It shows a lack of respect if he can’t take responsibility for what he did and keeps being rude. You should really think about whether you want to stay in a situation where feelings aren’t taken into account.

Don’t blame yourself for how he acts.
Do not forget that this is not your fault. It wasn’t right for him to react when you were doing something nice for him. He shouldn’t have embarrassed you in front of other people just because he didn’t like the writing on the pie. You should be praised and respected for your hard work, not criticized.

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